2 gentlemen sat at my bar the other night. One was normal, the other's social anxiety disorder, or very small penis, had him overcompensating a little.
Guy1 confidently ordered an Aviation, a classic gin cocktail.
Guy2 pulled the "What's your favorite drink?" crap, to which I always reply, "A double whiskey, neat" which isn't always true. But men who a) don't know what they want to drink and/or b) want to drink a complete stranger's favorite drink are generally candy asses who are sort of flirting, and I'm generally an asshole who thinks it's funny to see candy asses gag on warm whiskey. He didn't fall for it. He got a Comso, which is what his candy ass wanted all along.
They finished their first round, then
Me: (to Guy1) Would you like another Aviation?
Guy 1: No, it was delicious, but I want to try some other stuff.
Guy 2: Yeah, he’s getting married next week. So he wants to sample a bunch of stuff out there, before then.
Me: Oh. I see.
Me: (to Guy1) Are you marrying a cocktail?
Guy1: ahahahahahaha!
Guy2: Oh, I guess I thought I was being funny, but I guess you are.
Me: It's my day job. No hard feelings?
Tonight I'll be at The Broadway Comedy Club with some of NY funniest ladies. Come buy me a double whiskey, candy ass.
THE FUNNIEST LADIES OF COMEDY Hosted by Victor Cruz
7-8:30pm Wednesday, August 25, 2010
THE BROADWAY COMEDY CLUB
318 West 53rd bet. 8th & 9th
1 comments:
Hi-freakin'-larious!! I know that this happened because I've seen the same scenario play out with less than comedic bartenders.
Candyasses!!
Hilarious!!!
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